The Inevitable Next Morning Brunch Date Suggestion

I woke up last Sunday in a the bed of a guy with whom I have gone on about four dates. While it’s common for some people to get brunch the next morning, this is something I do NOT do. Why? Because why would I go to breakfast with the person I’ve just hooked up with when I can go to brunch with my friends and talk about the person. It’s a no-brainer. Also I like to eat a lot and feel weird doing this in front of I guy I don’t know well.

So, I usually make up an excuse if and when I’m asked to brunch the next morning, which usually sounds something like, “Oh, I’m not really hungry” against the background of audible stomach growls, or, “I would, but I’m have other plans which I can’t seem to recall at this moment…”

But sometimes they are extra-persistent. Over the summer, I used the excuse that I was already getting brunch with some friends, but he was at my place so I couldn’t just leave and grab a bacon egg and cheese at the bodega on the corner. He lingered. He kept inquiring about the nature of the plans. He asked me the inane question, “So, do you like brunch?” Yes, I like brunch. Name me one living soul in New York who “doesn’t like” brunch. If you want me to ever go to brunch with you one day, you better think of a better opener than that, dude.

Anyhow, my friend Molly happened to be in a similar predicament with the guy’s roommate, but she had already ordered food with him hours prior and eaten it naked in bed (such is her comfortable relationship among men and food). Finally, we fashioned a story about meeting our friend who was visiting for brunch so they really HAD to leave. Like now.

It was 1:00 p.m. by the time I got to Molly’s and I was starving. It was unpleasant. I had a fun night with the guy before, but his brunch inquisition and subsequent lingering the next morning put a slightly bad taste in my mouth. In short, we did not see each other again for a little while.

So, that is one example of the inevitable awkward brunch conundrum. But I digress. Back to last Sunday.

I’m just going to get right into it because there’s no easy segue from the last, which is a pretty typical incident, I think.

He asks me to brunch…. WITH HIS GIRLFRIENDS.

He asks me to go out to breakfast with three friends of his who are female whom I have never met before.

I’m not making this up.

Here are some of my many reactions, which I openly voiced (it’s a casual thing, so):

“Why would I ever want to get brunch with your girlfriends?”

“I cannot think of something I want to do less in life.”

“I can’t believe you asked me to do that.”

“I’m actually offended.”


Maybe I’m overreacting, but come on. When a relationship is new you keep the brunch to one-on-one. If you have some mutual friends, great. If the friends are guys, OK, fine. But just him and his female friends? No. Just… no.

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2 Responses to The Inevitable Next Morning Brunch Date Suggestion

  1. Anonymous says:

    I may have to disagree, and think it completely depends on how much you like someone. I’ve found that if you can hang out the next day with a guy, it usually means you’re comfortable enough with them that there may actually be potential (so eM&Mo – time to move on). There are only two circumstances in which I refuse to brunch: a) if I feel completely ill and know my conversation skills will be limited to nodding and trying not to barf up my bloody mary and b) if I don’t find the person to be interesting and just wanted a warm body in my bed – they’ve served their purpose and it’s time to go home. By the way, I also refuse to get brunch in the morning unless I shower while they’re still sleeping – that counts as a separate date IMO and I don’t go on dates all nappy with frat sludge left on me from the night before.

    The more I think about it, my standards and circumstantial prerequisites are so high for next-morning brunches that we may be on the same page. But I’d still rather have them ask and let me do the rejecting.

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